Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
