Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
