I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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