We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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