Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
