some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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