I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
