she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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