what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
