the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
