We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
