Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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