Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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