..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
another moral hangover. fuck.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
