So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
