I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
