pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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