Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
