Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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