yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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