You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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