shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
