using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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