Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize