It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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