So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
