Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
