You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
