I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
