it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
