stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
