You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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