so let's talk penis.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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