Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
