If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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