Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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