You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
