take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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