somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
