:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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