dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
