420 ftw
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
