I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
