i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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