I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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