I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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