Just fell off a train. Bad.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
