where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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