Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
