You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have fence marks all over my body
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
