lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
